Monday, October 5, 2009

My Baby's In Heaven?

"...I will go to him, but he will not return to me."
King David in II Samuel 12:2-23

I have discovered, sometimes painfully, that I am normal! I am not special or extra-ordinary and I do not stand out in a crowd. Of course, I am special to God, He is "especially fond" of all His kids but from an earthly perspective...I am average.

I find it necessary to point that out because I suspect that moms and dads who have lost a baby are just like me - normal. You see, when we lost our precious baby, Peanut, I adamantly expressed by belief that he is in heaven, in the presence of God. But somewhere deep down inside me I wondered...and prayed, "Dear God, please let that be so. Please somehow confirm that for me."

Thankfully our God is faithful, He both hears and answers our prayers. And our grief breaks His heart. So, when I was ready to receive it, God brought to me a story found in the Old Testament of the Bible in II Samuel 12. Here we learn that David sinned by having an affair with Bathsheba, having Bathsheba's husband murdered, and their union resulted in a pregnancy. Later the prophet Nathan informed David that his son would not live and immediately the child fell ill.

David tore his clothes, fasted, and prayed that God would spare his son but the infant died. When that happened David picked himself up off the ground, literally, cleaned up, ate, and went into the temple to worship God. Of course, the king's closest attendants were baffled by his behavior and questioned him. Here was his response, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.' But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me." II Samuel 12:22-23 (emphasis mine)

God in His loving kindness to parents for generations to come recorded David's loss so that we do not have to wonder. We can know that we know that we know that our precious babies are just fine waiting for us to join them in heaven! We only need to accept Jesus' free gift of salvation.

On October 25,1988 President Reagan and the United States Congress declared October to be National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and October 15th has been specifically set aside to remember our sweet children. My prayer for every mother, father, and family member who have lost a baby is that you would be filled with comfort and peace, as you remember you child this month, knowing that he or she is safe in our Father's arms and enjoying His presence!


Anonymous said...


I just come across your blog. Some of your experience resonates with me. My daughter Abigail died 17 October 2008 (1 year ago this week), this was after a period of infertility! I also work in Mission and have found this time to be a challenge to my faith.

Anyway thanks for the blog and for proving there is hope.

Kathi said...

My heart breaks for your loss. I was also challenged by the loss of our precious Peanut. My head told me that God is love, my heart told me God was cruel. I am so grateful that God is faithful to reveal His will for us at just the right time. On October 17th I will be praying for God's loving kindness to be so real that you will be able to feel it.

Please don't hestitate to contact me at I would love to chat and pray with you over the internet.

May God richly bless you,