One of the "Hard to Love"

By faith the harlot Rahab did not perish with those who did not believe
Hebrews 11:31

I am Rahab...the harlot. It's not fair, but that is how I'm known. Or maybe it is fair. At any rate, it's certainly is not accurate - anymore. It just seems that some "titles" are hard to shake off. Actually, I've gotten used to it and it even makes me smile. But forgive me, I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Let me tell you my story and hopefully it will make you smile too.

I live in the town of Jericho. It's a very small town made up of only ten acres of land but it is important to Joshua, the Israelite, partially because it's the home of a wonderful, perennial spring flowing with life-giving water. It also controls the northern road in the Jordan Valley that leads to the popular trade city of Beth-San. Oh, but the most important thing about Jericho is that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob promised to give this city to His children, the Israelites.

Everyone in Jericho had heard many stories about Joshua's God. And in time it became obvious to me that this God loves outrageously. Get this, He even loves me! I'm not sure I'll ever understand it but it has changed me! I left my former "career" and began to follow this God that they call Yahweh.

Then one day I opened my door to two young men. They told me that Joshua sent them to Jericho to spy out the land that they were preparing to take over and they needed refuge. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! God had sent them to me! He not only loves me, He trusts me. Really? Me? The only thing I could say was, "I am willing!"



The young men at my door, however, did not share my enthusiasm over the Lord's choice of accommodations for them! But that was only natural, they didn't know me like God knows me! Although I did win them over when I hid them on my roof under piles of flax and told the king's soldiers that my Jewish visitors had already left Jericho. I suggested that if they hurried they might be able to catch the two foreigners. My guests were so impressed with my willingness to protect them that before they left my home (in the opposite direction of the soldiers, of course) they promised to do the same for me and my entire family when they returned. And they were true to their word!

So you see, I am Rahab, the harlot. No, actually I am Rahab, the loved and forgiven harlot. And that makes me smile!

A Day For All Moms

Motherhood is priced of God, at price no man may dare to

lessen or misunderstand.

-Helen Hunt Jackson

Whether your "baby" is young or old, on earth or in heaven, a child you bore or that of another, or a child waiting for the day of their arrival on earth, my prayer for this day is that you and your child would have a renewed awareness and celebration of the precious and eternal gift that is motherhood.

The "Act Like It" Phase

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will go strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace

My last "break through" lesson in love was that God loves me. His love is unconditional, safe, and...permanent. The resulting challenge (God loves to challenge and stretch His kids!) was that I should live and love as though I am the recipient of the literally outrageous love of the Creator of the Universe. This is the "lab" part of my Love 101 course. This is where I apply what I've learned practically. I like to call it the "act like it" phase of my learning. The interesting thing is that, in this lab, I am studying myself as much as I am studying love.

What's that? You want to know what I've learned? I was really afraid you were going to ask! Well, the short version is that I've learned that I am a wimp! I am short-sighted, I am easily distracted, and I am self-focused. Hey, come on, you asked! BUT...I am also learning over and over on a daily basis, that I have an incredible Abba Daddy who is always willing to forgive and never willing to give up on me.

And although I am not setting any world's records in regard to how quickly I'm learning, I am finding that when I become distracted by my own fragile ego it is taking less time to re-focus and "hear" the Holy Spirit's still, small voice. And His voice always says, "Focus on Me, my daughter. Remember that I love you - always. And I will help you see those you are struggling with through My eyes. Sweetheart, I love them like I love you and I want you to love them the way I do."

Do I need to be loved by the people I love? Yes, the plain truth is that I do need some of them to love me. We all do, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. That is the way God wired us. But because of the safety and security in Jesus' love for me, I can love people who don't love me back. Some days when my focus is more on myself than Jesus it can feel brutal. At other times I am filled with a longing, a literal ache, for the "hard to love" people in my life to realize and embrace the intensity of God's love for them. On those days God's Spirit whispers to my spirit, "Now you are learning what real love looks like."

"Still the prayer I had prayed nearly every day for over a decade remained: Jesus, let me love with Your love and see with Your eyes. Show me what it means to be the expression of Your heart to those around me. Because I knew more than ever that His love did indeed have a face: mine."

Michelle Perry from Love Has A Face

The Heart of the Matter

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Psalm 3:5

So, I took the concept of loving people, especially those who are not particularly interested in me or my love, with an eternal perspective to heart and tried to put it into practice. And it worked...for about five minutes! That's about how long it took for those old feelings of hurt and bitterness to sneak back up to the surface. Oh, I would refocus on God and His love for them only to find myself saying, "Hey, what about me?"

"What about you, My daughter?"

"I want to be loved too. I want love to be safe."

"I do love you. You are safe with Me"

"I know."

"Do you really? Do you value My love? Do you trust My love?"

"Well...yes, of course I do."

"Then you are safe. Now I'm asking you to live and love like you believe it."

Ouch! Loving the hard to love is more about me and God than it is the person I'm trying to love. I know that I can trust Him and His love for me. He saw me through the loss of my precious baby, Peanut, and even turned my tragedy into triumph. And that's just one example of His tender love for me. He and I have history! God has proven to me that I can trust Him. Ok, I'll try again and again. "But God, why is it so hard? Shouldn't loving others be easier? Why does it sometimes feel like...well, suffering?"

"Unfortunately, my dear one, that is the only way you will learn obedience, not just in loving others but, in everything you do. And My Son modeled that for you. Though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which he suffered. Hebrews 5:8"

So, loving others is really about trusting and obeying You. "Father, Author of my faith, please help me to trust you more."

Touching Lives is on the Move!

Jesus said to them again, "Peace to you!

As the Father has sent me,

I also send you.
John 20:21

"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go..." Well, not yet but God is asking me to take these love lessons on the road! Specifically He's sending me, with over 20 others, to Ahero and Wachara, Kenya this July! Two of the board members for Touching Lives Ministry are joining with a medical mission team to participate in medical camps while keeping the eyes and ears of our souls open to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

We at TLM believe that God may be sending us to this region to open our first medical clinic. We ask that anyone visiting this blog would partner with us in praying that God would reveal His perfect will for us during our mission. It is exciting to realize that God has provided for us to be vehicles of physical and spiritual healing through this trip whether we end up in Ahero full time or not. That is so God!

We do have some prayer requests to pass on:

• Wisdom for the mission leaders as we prepare to go


• Safety and health for the team and loved ones of team members while we're gone


• Discernment for TLM leaders to hear God's call


• Provision of a portable ultra sound machine for TLM in time for the mission


• That lives would be touched and changed


• That God will be glorified and magnified in all we do!

The trip dates are July 17 -29. I look forward to sharing all that God does during that trip with each of you who are partnering with us!

Now may the God of peace...make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Hebrews 13: 20a-21

Here's the Dilemma...

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:21

I have had a nagging question almost from the beginning of this journey into the inner recesses of real love. I've tried to push it aside, to ignore it. But it just won't go away. And it seems to me that I won't be able to grasp all that God is teaching me until God and I tackle this issue. So, I'm just going to lay it out there and then dive for cover!

"God, I want to love like you love. I know I can't do that fully, however that is always my goal. But here's the problem, sometimes when I try to unconditionally love those who don't love me back I feel...ahh...well...(look at the ground, give a little kick)...abused!" There, I said it! Now what do I do with it?

To clarify, I'm not referring to physical abuse. Jesus protected the woman caught in adultery from being physically attacked by the religious leaders of that day. I believe that physical abuse breaks God's heart. What I'm speaking of is the feeling of being used, having false accusations brought against you in an attempt to make the accuser look superior, being laughed at. These are tough, hurtful things. Does God really ask that we endure them and just blindly meet them with love?

The bottom line answer to that question is that we have to take each individual situation and each individual to God in prayer to know for sure. However, there are times that the answer is - yes. Sometimes unconditionally means, well, unconditionally. So, how do I joyfully do that?

The answer came from God's Still, Small Voice, "You must have and keep an eternal perspective." If I answer harshness with anger today, how does that impact eternity? If my hurtful answer gives me a feeling of importance today, how distinguished will I feel when I stand before God to justify my response? Do I treasure my ego today more than any influence God may have through me for eternity?

It's all about perspective.

But, What Does That Look Like?

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the

candle or the mirror that reflects it.
-Edith Wharton

Please excuse me for a moment while I do a short review (as much for myself as for anyone who might be stopping by) of where God has taken me so far this year.

1. God has much that He wants to teach me about love in 2010.
2. My first lesson was that I am not capable of loving like God love.
3. Next came the discovery that in spite of #2 God wants to love the "hard to love" through me.

I think I have it - I don't always like it - but I think I'm making some progress! Or am I? I tend to be a visual learner. So, I often find myself asking the question: What does that look like? I know that loving those who don't love me back is difficult, stressful, and trying. But that's how it makes me feel. I need to know how I am supposed to live it out on a daily basis. And so I have been praying.

Then "Jesus replied, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all your mind.'" Matthew 22:37 Hmm... Well, I have a pretty good idea of what that looks like. Reading His Word tells me was pleases Him and spending time in prayer gives me more specific direction for each day.

But what do I do when the person or people I'm loving hurt me, insult me, or ignore me? That is when I must follow Jesus' example and love sacrificially. I discovered that the heart of this lesson is that love, grace, and forgiveness go hand-in-hand. God is asking me, asking each of us, to reflect His love to us onto those around us. His love is full of grace and forgiveness. Sometimes that makes me look like a big mirror, sometimes a lone candle. But it always looks like me...on my knees.