Lessons from Nepal: God is Sufficient

Faith is the virtue by which,

clinging-to the faithfulness of God,

we lean upon Him, so that we may

obtain what He gives to us.

- William Ames

The triage note handed to me by this beautiful 18 year old, first time mother-to-be read, “ten months pregnant.” Not a great start. As I began to examine her I first discovered that her blood pressure was elevated. My next finding was that her hands and feet had become swollen with water retention, medically known as edema. An ultra sound done by Dr. Joe disclosed that her placenta was not functioning at its maximum, most likely due to the fact that she was over-due. Most concerning of all was the fact that all of the previous findings contributed to an absence of amniotic fluid, leaving the baby’s umbilical cord vulnerable to being compressed which would cut off the baby's oxygen supply. Adding to the urgency of the situation was the fact that this sweet, young mamma-to-be was having no symptoms of labor.

In this small mountain clinic setting we did not have the medications nor facilities available to us to provide the care our patient so urgently needed. The closest facility that had the capability of meeting her needs was several hours down the mountain. So, we talked to the PUMA leaders to arrange transportation to the district hospital only to find that there were no vehicles available. With heavy hearts and at the peak heat of the day we sent our young patient down the mountain by foot.

As we prayed for safety for this mother and baby I began to feel first helpless and then angry. We came to Nepal to bring people hope and healing. This looked more like abandonment and fear.

“God, what are you doing? Please help us help her, please!”
“Kathi.”
“Yes, Lord.”
“Do you believe I am in control?”
“Well…yes…I do...”
“Then give her to me. She’s not yours, she’s Mine.”
“I know, Lord, but…”
“This is no different than giving me Mark, Jason, Peanut, yourself.”
“I know, Lord, but…”
“Am I sufficient to meet every need?”
“Yes, Lord, You are sufficient.”

We may not know until heaven what God did in that young lady’s life. But I do know that, once again, God was teaching me truths about Himself – about myself - through this. God is faithful and sufficient to meet all our needs. That is and always will be true whether I believe it or not. The crucial and intimately personal issue is this: do I believe Him and if I do, will I live it? When we weed through all the “stuff” I guess that’s the issue for us all.

Lessons from Nepal: A Vehicle for the Gospel

Fear defeats more people than any

other one thing in the world.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I want to shout it from the rooftops, or rather the mountaintops: medical clinics for the poor in underdeveloped and developing countries are a vehicle to proclaim the Gospel to the lost!

It was the third day of our clinic in the first Nepali mountain village we visited and we were told during our morning devotions that the people would most likely take advantage of the recent rain to plow and plant their fields. Unfortunately Nepal has been caught in the throes of a drought for some time now and the thunder storms we had been having each day provided the answer to the prayers of many. This would most likely mean that the number of patients at the final clinic day in this village would be down.

And indeed, we were able to see all of the 150 to 200 patients waiting to be seen by about 2:00pm, easily two hours earlier than the previous two days. But that day I personally had possibly the most poignant divine appointment of the two week mission.

The patients waited in line to be seen by a triage nurse who would get the appropriate vital signs and question the patient regarding their physical complaints. The nurse would then assign the patient to a specific practitioner. Our Ob/Gyn doctor, another obstetrical nurse, and I would see the women with "female complaints." Our GI doctor would see patients with stomach/intestinal complaints as well as some with generalized physical symptoms. Dr. Thapa, a Nepali doctor who volunteer two weeks of his time to help with our clinics, would see patients with symptoms of diseases that we don't treat often in the U.S. like leprosy and viruses peculiar to the region. He also saw most of the infants and children. And the Occupational Therapist on the team saw patients with muscular-skeletal pain and/or injury. The triage nurse wrote each patient's chief medical complaint on a triage form and sent the individual to the appropriate practitioner.

Relatively early in the day a rather young, nicely dressed woman handed me her triage paper. On it were notations of a few superficial complaints, nothing that alerted me to any significant medical problems. But then I read, "cannot sleep." Considering the fact that the team was sleeping in sleeping bags on cement floors with no electricity and an outhouse about 50 yards away which was only a hole in the ground I was somewhat unsympathetic! In spite of trying to maintain a professional demeanor, I smiled a little and thought, "Join the club, honey!" But my grin disappeared when I read the final comment on her note, "is fearful."

My first thought was that the nurses doing triage are always swamped with long lines of people waiting to be seen, so they try to get to the major symptoms as quickly as possible. Part of the role of the specialized doctors and nurses was to question the patient more in depth about their complaints. If this poor woman was so plagued by fear that it was one of the first things she communicated to the triage nurse, this was neither a laughing nor small matter.

After quickly addressing the more minor complaints I said to the patient, through my interpreter, Gabi, "This says that you are having trouble sleeping at night."
Her response was, "Yes, I have many thoughts that go around and around in my head and they will not allow me to sleep."
"Do these thoughts make you afraid?"
"Yes."
"What are you afraid of?"
"Many things. I am afraid for my children."
"Are you afraid of death?"
"Yes."
"Have you ever heard about Jesus?"
"No."
"He can calm your fears and bring you peace. Would you like to get to know Him?"
"Yes."

My spirit leaped within me! Where are our pastors? Where are our spiritual counselors? This is much too important to speak through translator, even a good one like Gabi. This woman needs to speak to someone who knows her culture and language intimately. I need help here!

I told this gentle woman that I was going to take her to someone who would introduce her to Jesus. And with my arm around her shoulder I led her out the door to a dedicated, Godly man who has been on the PUMA staff in Nepal for several years. After explaining the situation to Phillip he tenderly walked Sipa to the shade of a nearby tree and there she met Jesus!

Later that day Phillip reported to the team that Sipa accepted Jesus as her Savior and went home with a Nepalese Bible. She told Phillip that she could be in danger for leaving her Hindu religion. He suggested that she privately read her Bible and pray for her family members that they would come to know the True and Living God. Our team is praying for dear Sipa and her family that some day we will see them all in heaven.

I want to shout it from the mountaintops!

Nepal: Re-direction and re-focusing

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

-Erma Bombeck

I firmly believe that participating in a short term mission is much more about what God wants to do in the "server's" heart than those who are served. Of course we desire to be God's hands and feet to the poor, sick, and lost but it is my experience that almost universally team members are surprised by the ministry done in their own hearts when all is said and done.

One of my personal prayers for this mission was that I would be able to observe and learn from the team and PUMA ministry leaders. The time is coming soon when I will be leading a short term mission team. That is a daunting responsibility that I know I will only be able to do with the help of the Holy Spirit but I also know that I must do what I can to prepare for the task at hand. In 2 Timothy 2:15 Paul admonishes us to, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed." Paul was speaking specifically of studying God's Word but I believe that his words can and should be applied to any calling that God puts on our lives. So, right from the first team meeting back in October I have been in "gleaning mode."

And did I glean! However it is often the case that when I set myself to the task of learning I find that the knowledge revealed to me is quite unexpected and Nepal was no exception. I was seeking leadership skills and I learned about a servant's heart. Toward the end of the trip I learned about accepting the service of others gracefully. I desired to become a better leader and discovered how to become a better follower. I wanted to know how to conduct effective medical camps and realized that every one of the approximately 1500 patients we treated will some day die - every one! My passion to make a difference for God's Kingdom grew exponentially while my focus on medical camps diminished somewhat.

Of course bringing medical care to the poor and sick is important but it falls short of meeting the need if we fail to offer the spiritual healing all mankind require. This lesson was driven home to me with the force of a blow to my head with a sledge hammer when a woman came to us with a complaint of a "mass" on her breast. The examination revealed that the woman had inflammatory breast cancer, one of the most aggressive forms of this disease. Of course, we were not equipped in our little mountain medical clinic to address such a critical problem and our only recourse was to encourage this dear woman to go the closest district hospital at the bottom of the mountain. My heart was heavy as the disappointed patient slowly walked away. How can we just do nothing? Hey,wait a minute, we don't just have medicine, we have Jesus!

Our translator ran out the door and called after the woman, urging her to please come back. For quite some time Dr. Joe, the American Ob/Gyn doctor on our team, talked to this sweet woman through our young interpreter, introducing her to the Great Physician. In the end she was "almost persuaded," but the seed was planted and we will continue to pray that the Holy Spirit will "water" it and bring her to Himself while she still has breath.

The obvious question that must be answered as a result of all this learning is how does it impact Touching Lives? That's where the re-direction comes in! God is closing some doors and opening others with a renewed focus on medical clinics as a vehicle to proclaim the Gospel. This has been a burden on my heart for quite a while, now I am finally in position to have God show me how, where and when to carry out this ministry.

PUMA has been doing that kind of ministry beautifully for 10 years and the fruit of changed lives is blossoming. Seeing that first hand makes even whispering the calling that God has put on our hearts an intimidating thought. But my mantra throughout our two week mission became and remains, "not by might, nor by power, but by your Spirit!"

In God's perfect timing there will be more to come!

On Hearing the Call

I seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter. Nine-tenths of the trouble with people generally is just here. Nine-tenths of the difficulties are over come when our hearts are ready to do the Lord's will, whatever it may be. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is.

-George Muller

In the past few months I've heard much discussion on the topic of knowing God's will. I have given a lot thought to this subject and I would thoroughly enjoy saying that I know with certainty how anyone can know God's will. Mainly I would like to be able to honestly say that because it would make following hard after Jesus a lot easier for me personally! However, often the painful truth is that knowing God's will is an incredibly and powerfully personal issue and therefore discerning His will is most likely just a little different for each individual. One thing I do know is that our God is not a God of "formulas," He is much more personal than that.

So, how do I know that Mark and I are following God's plan for our lives through Touching Lives? Well, we do have circumstantial evidence. For instance, through a series of events God led us to the couple we are partnering with in India, the person He'd chosen to guide us through the process of filing for non-profit status, the people He wanted on our Board of Directors and I could go on...

There are also areas in this calling that line up directly with what God's Word tells us about the kind of people God uses. In 2 Corinthians 12:10 Paul says that "...when I am weak, then I am strong." 1 Corinthians 1: 27 tells us, "But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty..." Time after time all through out the Bible God did things in ways that just makes you scratch you head and say, "If I were God I don't think I would have done it that way!" He rose up the nation of Israel through a barren couple, He had Noah build a boat nowhere near water, Joseph was put in prison to become a government official, Moses was much too young at the age of forty to lead the Jews out of Egypt, the Son of God was born in a barn, Paul - a Jewish rabbi - became the apostle to the Gentiles - need I continue?

So, the fact that this ministry is "being born" smack dab in the middle of the worst financial time since the Great Depression and that God has chosen to use a disabled chemical operator and a part-time obstetrical nurse who live in the poorest city in Pennsylvania, helps to confirm that this "craziness" is God's doing! I often tell people that if I were God I certainly would not choose Mark and Kathi Evans for this task!

Another confirmation of this calling is that God brought Godly people to us, some we knew and some who were strangers to us, who affirmed the calling. There are several other things that contribute to our ability to say that, "we know that we know that we know" that God has carved out this road for us but what I'd really like to share is how God communicated to me that it was His will to use me to help take others onto the foreign mission field.

It started with me begging! You see, God put in me a burning, and I do mean burning, desire to serve Him. Of course that is true of all His followers, but I had a gut-wrenching passion to serve Him on the mission field. On May 29, 2004 I wrote the following entry in my journal: "Jesus, I know what I want to do – so many things, so many visions. But, Master, I lay down all those aspirations so that I can be unencumbered to do what You want me to do. I want Your vision. I want Your will to be done, but it’s got to start inside me. I need courage, boldness, meekness.
You know I can speak, Lord, help me be silent. You know I can lead, help me to follow. Show me, help me, teach me, fill me, break me, but Sovereign God, in Your love, mercy, grace and faithfulness, please, I beseech You, use me!"

It wasn't until September 14 of that same year that God whispered to my spirit that He wanted to use me to train, equip, and take others onto the mission field, especially those who might not otherwise go. While I was confused and overwhelmed by that I was also excited about it. How? When? Where? Me?

Since that day God lead us to two locations that provide many of the luxuries of the United States - and us medical people do enjoy our luxuries. Our missions will not be "roughing it" like some missions and I believe that God designed our ministry that way to allow more people an insight into the plight of the starving and lost in under-developed and developing countries.

On September 14, 2004 I did not have the slightest clue how God was going to fulfill this new call on my life. And I did think that the call was pure lunacy. But I knew in my spirit that some day I would understand what He was up too! I guess that's what He meant when He said that we should "walk by faith, not by sight."

Forward...to India!

Faith is to believe what you do not see;

the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.
Saint Augustine

In May of 2006 I found myself in Hyderabad, India on a mission "scouting trip" with another ministry. The last few days before going home were spent with the Amrutharaj's, a lovely couple who had a burden and vision for the poor in their area. They shared their calling to open a medical clinic in the Papireddy Colony and asked that we pray about partnering with them in this endeavor. After I recovered from yet another "spirit jumping in me" episode, we attended a church service in another of the slums in the area.

Throughout the service I could not help but notice a woman who sat on the floor across the room from me. She had the countenance of someone with the weight of the world on her shoulders. She rarely looked up and, as far as I could see, never looked anyone in the eyes. God broke my heart for this dear woman that day and for the many, many women just like her in this city. It appeared that God was using this woman to answer my prayers regarding partnering with Drs. Joseph and Vimala even before I prayed them! I pray that God will allow me to see this precious woman again while we're still on earth but if that is not God's will I look forward to telling her about the impact she had on my life and my calling!

I wasn't to return to Hyderabad until November of 2007, a full year and one half after my first visit. However this second mission was also a "scouting trip" only this time it was on behalf of Touching Lives! And this time my sweet sister in the Lord and now fellow Touching Lives Board Member, Darien, accompanied me.

As we discussed the future partnership between Touching Lives and Drs. Joseph and Vimala, once again my spirit leaped (my body should do as much jumping as my spirit does!) when I heard that their dream is not to open one but five clinics. To this day I don't quite understand why that felt so right, I can only tell you that it did!
Over the course of this mission we were able to visit the construction site of the first clinic. As the Amrutharaj's posed in what would become the doorway of the structure for us to take pictures of them, tears came to my eyes. Before me was God's visual confirmation that this crazy adventure we were on was His will. This was a wonderfully humbling moment!

One of the few regrets I have had in regard to participating in short-term missions has always been that, either because of his work schedule or his health, I have never be able to share a mission with Mark first hand. But while in India this second time I began to ask God to bring Mark here. It only felt right that he would meet Drs. Joseph and Vimala "up close and personal" as we begin this ministry partnership. The morning after we returned home as Mark "debriefed" me on the trip, he told me that he felt God leading him to go to Hyderabad! And, you guessed it, I got that spirit-jumping thing going again! So, we have begun to pray that God would open the doors for us to visit India this coming May. Please join with us in praying that 1) God's will is done and 2) that He receives all the glory, honor, and praise due Him as He carries out His will in our lives.

The Call to Missions Realized

Today is the first day of your life because it has never been before, and today is the last day of your life becasue it will never be again.

- Frederick Buechner

As Jason reached his teenage years I began to feel the pull of the call to missions I heard when I was eleven. I still had not been introduced to ministries or organizations that could help me walk in that call but I had begun to do some research when God led Mark and me to a missions-minded church for the first time in our adult lives. I still remember feeling my spirit leap within me the Sunday morning I first heard the annoucement that our new church was having an informational meeting about their next mission to Trinidad in 2001.

Over the next 5 years I averaged two foreign missions per year. As I prepared for each mission I would send out support letters to family and friends, make items to sell, and pray for opportunities to work extra time to finance the missions. And God used these efforts to provide all the resources I needed for each mission. But God had something new for us in the spring of 2006.

Mark had triple by-pass surgery on January 31, 2006 and although there were a few "bumps in the road" of his recovery, overall it was fairly uneventful. So, at the beginning of April he was feeling well enough to be antsy but was not quite ready physically to return to his 48-72 hour work weeks and he began to "putz", as he puts it, around our home office. One of the end points of his putz-ing was that after 8 years he found that book CD!

One month later while on my first mission to India, the Holy Spirit made it clear to me that He did not want me to ask people for financial support for my missions any longer.

"So...you don't want me to go on the mission field any more?"

"I didn't say that, Kathi, I just want you to trust me to provide the funds for your missions."

"Ok, Lord," gulp, "with your help I'll trust you."

In July of 2006 I finished the book, in September we signed a contract with our publisher - Wheatmark, and in April of 2007 the book was published! As we prayed about what we should do with the funds from our book it was obvious that this way one of the means that God intended to use to provide resources for my missions. God was using Peanut's life to fulfill His call on my life!

So, why the 8 year delay? I asked the same question! In that time God introduced me to my now cherished friend and divinely gifted artist, Connie Beecher, who did all of the art for my book. He brought us to Calvary Chapel of Delaware County, the vehicle He intended to use to "launch" me onto the mission field. He introduced us to various mission ministries including PUMA that would mentor us on our road to Touching Lives. He introduced us to the ministries in India and Kenya with whom we would eventually partner. And He introduced and reunited us with the people He had choosen to be on the TLM board at the birth of this ministry. During those 8 years God was working "behind the scenes" to do His perfect will in His perfect time!

We're Not in Hawaii Any More, Peanut

Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose

ways you may not understand at the time.

-Oswald Chambers

I share the details of Peanut's short life in my book Our Baby, Our Love, Our Loss. But the lessons I've learned and the twists and turns of my life's journey that have resulted from Peanut's 16 weeks of life would take volumes to communicate. However I can tell you that there is one thing of which I am convinced: returning to work just 2 weeks after we lost Peanut was one of the top five most difficult things I've ever done. Suddenly working in Labor and Delivery seemed more like a sacrifice than a privilege. Watching a woman deliver a baby she did not want while I longed for the baby I could not have was excruciating.

As time passed God gave me opportunities to reach out to other couples who were experiencing the gut-wrenching pain of losing a child and I slowly realized that my "cushy" job was being transformed into a ministry. I had become a member of a club that I would never want to join but with that membership came the realization that the call I felt on my life and career back in college really was a call and not just a desire. The cost of this ministry was indeed high, higher than I could ever have imagined, but that did not alter the call in any way.

After several years I began to "hear" God's Spirit speak to my spirit, this time telling me He could minister to many more couples through our experience if I wrote a book. I argued with God (talk about an exercise in futility!) but finally began to write. Interestingly after writing all but the last 2 chapters I misplaced the CD with the manuscript on it! When Mark and I were unable to find it we assumed that God's purpose in having me write our story was a cathartic one. The whereabouts of the manuscript remained a mystery to us for 8 years. During that time God was busy preparing the way...